Information for Group Leaders

Overview

The Marriage on the Mend Small Group Study is intended for use in home/cell groups, Sunday school classes, and other ministry settings which include married couples. While the material primarily addresses spouses who have experienced ongoing conflicts, separation, and/or even divorce, every couple who is interested in strengthening their marriage or remarriage would also benefit from attending.

Each of the twelve lessons in this study follows a simple format so that you can effectively facilitate your group, minimize your preparation time, and maximize the benefits of the tools and concepts covered. Most of the lessons can be thoroughly covered in a two-hour time period.

The lessons in the Marriage on the Mend Small Group Study correspond with the chapters of the book, Marriage on the Mend—Tangible Tools to Restore Your Relationship.

Lesson 1 – Honoring the Process
Lesson 2 – Recognizing Your Roadblocks
Lesson 3 – Forming a Firm Foundation
Lesson 4 – Synchronizing Your Standards
Lesson 5 – Using Prayer as a Power Tool
Lesson 6 – Building Bridges of Forgiveness and Faith
Lesson 7 – Deepening Your Discussions
Lesson 8 – Rebuilding on the Ruins of Your Past
Lesson 9 – Guarding the Gates of Marriage
Lesson 10 – Retrofitting Your Relationship
Lesson 11 – Managing Your Margins
Lesson 12 – Traveling into New Territories

Benefits

Participants in this small group study will be able to…

Learn from the experiences of other couples who have reconciled
Identify the roadblocks that threaten to hinder their healing
Draft a set of biblically-based marriage standards
Apply lessons extracted from Nehemiah’s charge to rebuild Jerusalem
- Effectively handle painful experiences from the past
- Integrate prayer and Bible study into their relationship
- Understand the importance of accountability
- Set and assess goals related to their relationship

Implement tools that will deepen their intimacy with God and each other
- Proactively safeguard their marriage from further division

Publicity

In order to advertise the start of your Marriage on the Mend class, we’ve included a brief announcement to insert into your church’s worship bulletin. With slight modifications, this announcement could also be used in local newspapers, community flyers, or other forms of communication.

Materials

Each participant will need his/her own copy of the book, Marriage on the Mend—Tangible Tools to Restore Your Relationship, as well as a Marriage on the Mend Participant’s Workbook. These materials can be ordered from either of the following websites: www.inverseministries.org or www.MarriageontheMend.com. Participants should bring these materials and their Bibles to every session. (The only other materials needed are strips of receipt or adding machine paper for the marriage timeline activity in Lesson 1.)

Grouping Strategies

We suggest that only one lesson is covered each week. However, some lessons may be combined at your discretion, if necessary. During each meeting, you should feel the freedom to use flexible grouping strategies that best suit your leadership style and the needs of the participants involved. This may include gender-based grouping (women with women and men with men). For example, a leader may choose to use gender-based grouping for the first half of the meeting time, and then partner husbands and wives together for the Lesson Activity. (It is not appropriate to use cross-gender partners.)

Lesson Components

As the leader, use the elements included in each lesson to best meet the needs of your group. At times, some quiet space may be necessary so that couples can privately discuss the more intimate details involved in their restoration process. Above all, establish and revisit group norms of confidentiality as needed. Each lesson contains the following components:

Discussion Vignette – The discussion vignette is taken directly from the book and is intended to set off each lesson (after opening in prayer). The wisdom from each couple featured in these vignettes offers helpful tips related to the lesson topic. The discussion generated should last no more than 5-7 minutes.
Scripture Reading – After discussing the vignette, have the participants read the passages(s) of Scripture listed. You may choose to read the verses aloud or have a group member read them aloud.
Biblical Background – This part of the lesson allows each person to get a snapshot of the biblical background that is relevant to the topic at hand. Like the Scripture reading, this portion of the lesson can be read silently or aloud by you or a member of the group. Most of the background information has been directly extracted from the Marriage on the Mend book and focuses on Nehemiah’s restoration of Jerusalem.
Lesson Principle – Each lesson features an overarching principle so that the members of the group clearly understand the main objective. Every aspect of the lesson is geared toward helping the participants understand and apply that principle to their own marriages.
Lesson Activity – The bulk of your meeting time will be spent on the Lesson Activity. Each activity is designed to deepen the participant’s understanding and application of the principle covered. In order to keep couples focused on their relationships with God, most of these activities require studying His Word. Participants should bring their Bibles to class each week (along with a copy of their Marriage on the Mend book). Prior to coming to class, each participant should read the corresponding chapter in Marriage on the Mend. Some of the lesson activities may not be finished during the class session and should be taken home, completed, and brought back to class the following week. The marriage timeline that each couple will begin creating (in Lesson 1) should also be brought to class each week as participants will add to their timelines over the course of the study.
Discussion Questions – Following the lesson activity, allow some time to debrief the lesson through relevant discussion. As the group leader, you may choose to use all or some of the questions provided, depending upon time and the needs of the group.
Prayer – Each lesson concludes with a prayer. In addition, you may choose to engage in an open time of sharing prayer requests and praying together.
Looking Ahead – At the conclusion of each meeting, this section helps participants understand how the lessons are tied together and foreshadows what is in store for the coming week.
Personal Notes/Reflections – Participants may choose to use this space to write down any notes or reflections. We also suggest that each person keep a separate journal. Often times, it may be helpful to give participants a few minutes to journal their thoughts and feelings before closing each meeting. You may also choose to “assign” particular discussion questions and ask group members to write their responses in the spaces provided, or in their journals.

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Marriage on the Mend Workbook